


We're Just Us

by loonachos



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-13 03:57:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17480720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonachos/pseuds/loonachos
Summary: Jiwoo’s out for drinks with Yoojung on Christmas. Sooyoung comes home to find Jungeun up way past her usual bedtime.





	1. Past bedtime

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a fanacc of someone actually spotting Jiwoo and Yoojung out for drinks on Christmas. And what is a chuulip fic without tagging “angst” :]

It was past 2 a.m. when Sooyoung came home to find Jungeun mindlessly flipping through channels in the dark. The girl seemed distracted and didn’t take notice of her arrival.

“You’re not out with Jiwoo?” She spoke up while taking off her coat, placing it on one of the chairs.

Jungeun snapped out of her daze and glanced over at Sooyoung before turning back to the tv. “Did she not tell you? She’s out with Yoojung.”

“On Christmas.” Sooyoung stated. “I thought you guys hung out for all holidays.”

Jungeun shrugged. “Well, she has other friends too.” 

Sooyoung sighed and walked over to Jungeun, who was curled up on one corner of the couch. Taking a seat next to Jungeun, the girl scooted over a bit and placed half of her blanket on Sooyoung’s lap as if this was their usual routine.

Jungeun felt eyes on her, but her stare stayed fixed on the tv.

Sooyoung sighed again. “Are you okay?”

Jungeun held her breath and stopped flipping through the channels. She placed the remote on the the armrest to the right before running that hand through her hair. Jungeun tucked her knees tighter to her chest, and out of a nervous habit, played with her fingers.

“I…” She started, but stopped and slumped her shoulders. She already knew once she began talking, it would be hard to stop. “I really thought I was going to be okay. We’re busy you know? We can’t have our minds clouded with unnecessary problems if they arise. And we’ve been friends for so long. It’s just…” Jungeun stopped her rambling and shook her head.

She wasn’t one to spill all of her feelings, but after she accidentally admitted to Sooyoung of her little problem, their talks just became natural. They were already close with their shared same sense of humor, but never really had serious talks until this mess became an issue. Even though she hasn’t figured anything out yet, Jungeun was thankful that she’s able to talk to someone about this, because she felt like she was going crazy.

“I know it’s not my place to say,” Sooyoung said carefully and placed a hand on Jungeun’s knee to get her attention. “Look at me, please.”

Jungeun let out a shaky breath and turned to her left. Her eyes were red and wet from trying to hold back tears.

Sooyoung gave her knee a comforting squeeze. “You gotta do something about this. You guys can’t keep tiptoeing around each other. You said you really thought you’d be okay, but we both know that’s a lie. Both of you think we don’t notice, but everyone does.” She paused, resting her back against the couch before beginning again. “Jiwoo’s a good actress. She can act her normal happy self when she’s out with all of us, but when she’s in the room…” She paused. “She goes straight to her bed, headphones on, journal out. She doesn’t say a word to anyone unless it’s to say goodnight.”

Sooyoung suddenly turned to Jungeun again and smacked her on the arm.

“Ow! What was that for?” Jungeun yelped in surprise. She grabbed her arm and rubbed it, looking at Sooyoung irritated.

“You.” Sooyoung pointed a finger at Jungeun. “You suck at acting. Anyone could tell you’re moping around like a kicked puppy.”

“What?” Jungeun questioned in defense. “I do not mope around.”

“Oh, so you’re not gonna deny the kicked puppy part?” Sooyoung accused.

Jungeun growled. “Is this your way of comforting me, because you’re doing a really bad job at it.”

Sooyoung scratched her head from annoyance and took a deep breath. “All I’m saying is that this should be a wake up call for you. If you don’t make a move, you could lose her.” She took one of Jungeun’s hand in her own and softened her voice. “I know you guys have been best friends since forever and I’m pretty sure the both of you aren’t making a move because you’re afraid of messing things up. But come on, have you never thought how nice it would be to wake up being the little spoon to Jiwoo’s big spoon?” 

Jungeun yanked her hand out of Sooyoung’s and scoffed as she watched her friend raise her eyebrows up and down teasingly.

“Oh, come on. You know I’m just messing, but I’m also very serious. You need to do something before this gets any more out of hand.” 

“I know.” Jungeun placed her head in her hands before mumbling. “Do you think she likes Yoojung?”

Sooyoung sighed for what seemed to be the nth time of the night. “I don’t know. How am I supposed to know? You need to talk to her. Soon.”

“Should I talk to her when she gets home or is that too late?” Jungeun lifted her head and turned to Sooyoung with that wounded puppy look again.

As much as she loved teasing Jungeun, it pained to see her friend so conflicted. She bit her lower lip out of concern. “How about we try to rest and when she comes in, I’ll text you to see if you’re still up and let her know you want to talk. She can decide from there.”

Jungeun sniffed and nodded. “That sounds good. I can do this.” She went back to playing with her fingers. “Thank you, Sooyoung unnie.”

Sooyoung let out a small chuckle and patted Jungeun’s head. “No problem, kid.”

They sat there in silence with the tv on low, playing late night reruns of some drama.

Jungeun felt eyes on her again. She could feel the smirk. Jungeun turned her head irritated to see Sooyoung’s dumb looking grin. 

“And you didn’t deny that you’d enjoy your back being warm from Jiwoo being the big spoon, you big softie.” Sooyoung hit her arm lightly like a shy school girl mockingly.

“Shut up!!” Jungeun shouted and yanked the pillow from behind her back and lunged for Sooyoung, pinning her down on the couch as the taller brunette laughed hysterically.


	2. Submerge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiwoo comes home late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by the song “submerge” by movements, and drinking in the middle of the night.

It was a little past 3 a.m. when Jiwoo came stumbling into the dorm. She wasn’t planning on staying out so late, but the more she talked to Yoojung, the more interesting the girl got. Before she knew it, she checked her phone to see the time and missed messages from some of her members asking when she’d be home. 

She had been in a rush getting ready before heading out to hang with Yoojung earlier. The girl had insisted they should go out for drinks since they both didn’t have plans for the holiday. Jiwoo was hesitate at first. Although she technically didn’t have plans, it was a given that she’d spend it with Jungeun, but when she told her best friend about the invite, she happily told Jiwoo to go. And after a few drinks and losing track of time, she suddenly remembered that she didn’t wish Jungeun a Merry Christmas. When she quickly scrolled through her messages and missed calls, her heart sank when Jungeun’s name wasn’t there. 

Jiwoo sighed and struggled to take off her shoes. She might have had a little too much to drink. The room was slightly spinning, but she was sure she’d be able to make it to bed on her own.

With one last tug, her shoe came off and she placed it lightly on the ground before quietly walking towards her room.

She winced when the door creaked as she opened it and let go of her breath when she was able to make it inside without making too much noise.

Before she could even turn around, a hushed voice came out from the dark. “You should talk to Jungeun.” 

Jiwoo bit her lip at the mention of the name and rested her forehead against the closed door. “What’s wrong with Jungeun? She’s still up at this hour?”

She heard shuffling on the other bottom bunk next to her’s. “She’s up at this hour, you tell me.”

Jiwoo’s head was still spinning and being in the dark made it worse. Not to mention, the thought of all the possibilities of the reason why Jungeun would be up way past her bedtime made her stomach feel uneasy.

“Let me change first,” Jiwoo said before heading to her closet. She needed a little time to get herself together. 

Jiwoo stood in front of the sliding door for a moment before letting out a deep sigh. She opened the closet to gather some clothes and then headed for the bathroom just outside of the room. 

Jiwoo slowly got out of her slightly too uncomfortable clothes and changed into her bedtime attire. Once she was done, she steadied herself on the sink and stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and wet from holding back tears while her makeup was still almost too perfect. 

She hated it. She’s always been a happy kid, but it didn’t mean she didn’t have her struggles too. 

For so long, she wondered if she was good enough. After countless auditions, she told herself to stop having her hopes up so much after the constant elimination right before the final cut. She wanted to quit so many times, but singing was one of the only things that made her feel truly alive. She couldn’t quit even if she tried.

Jungeun was preparing to debut while Jiwoo was still floating around. She had never been so unsure about her own future, but she also couldn’t be happier for her best friend. 

Jungeun had been so nervous and excited, talking faster than her already fast speed. Jiwoo couldn’t do anything but listen and say small words of reassurance. 

In the end, Jungeun ended up being the one reassuring Jiwoo. Telling her how she just has to be patient, that Jiwoo’s too talented to not have companies wanting to accept her, and she would debut in no time. 

They joked about how once they both debut, they’ll see each other backstage when their promotions collided. Who would have guessed that they’d debut in the same group instead?

She still remembered that day. It was so surreal. 

They talked about it here and there. How they won’t be seeing each other as much once they both become busy. They were already seeing each other a lot less these days. But then, when news came out that Jiwoo got accepted to bbc and will be debuting alongside Jungeun, all of those emotions surfaced and they spent that day just crying, talking about everything and nothing.

They were so happy. 

How did it become like this? One day, seemingly out of nowhere, something changed, and every time they were alone together, the air got a little more awkward. 

Jiwoo tried to brush it off, but over time, Jungeun started hanging out with Sooyoung more and Jiwoo, in turn, started to rely more on her journal.

Lately, she’s been fixated on writing about how people expected to see a smile on her face all the time, so she did just that, and she got used to it. She was good at it. Playing pretend became easy. Jiwoo didn’t know how to be sad when she was around people, but when she was alone, the thoughts in her head that surrounded the quiet room kept her up at night. She couldn’t sleep, but when she did get to rest, she’d be woken up for the next day’s schedule already. It was always a struggle to get up in the morning, so Jiwoo always rolled out of bed two minutes before they had to leave.

Taking a deep breath in, she kept her stare on herself in the mirror and ran her hand through her tangled hair before exhaling shakily.

It was now or never.

Jiwoo stepped out of the bathroom and slowly made her way to Jungeun’s room. She didn’t know how long she had been standing in front of the door before actually gathering up the courage to open it. 

She peeked her head inside, but couldn’t see a thing. “Jungeun?” She called out quietly. A part of her prayed that Jungeun had fallen asleep, but the part of her worrying over why her best friend would still be up at this ungodly hour won over as she called out for Jungeun again. This time, she heard shuffling.

“Jiwoo?” A sleepy voice called out. There was more shuffling and then footsteps headed her way. Soon, Jungeun came into view. Even in the dark, anyone could tell this sleepy looking girl was gorgeous. 

“Hey, Soo-Sooyoung unnie told me you were up.” Jiwoo stammered, trying her best to sound sober. “I’m sorry if I just woke you right now.” 

“No, you didn’t wake me up.” Jungeun rubbed her tired eyes and let out a yawn. “You’re finally home.”

“Yeah... Did you want to talk or something?” Jiwoo asked, but quickly shook her head right after. “Or, no, you should actually sleep. It’s really late.” She casted her eyes to the floor and nervously tucked strands of hair behind her ear.

“No, no, I want to talk.” Jungeun looked back into her room to see if her roommates were still sleeping before stepping out of the room, closing the door behind her. “Unless, you want to go sleep?” Jungeun asked nervously as well. 

“We can talk.” Jiwoo answered too quickly. She swallowed the lump in her throat and turned around to head towards the living room, but the turn was a bit too fast and made her lose balance from the nausea. Arms reached out to steady her.

“Maybe you really should just go to bed, Jiwooming,” Jungeun had her arm around Jiwoo’s waist for support.

The nickname alone made her want to cry. “No, I’m fine. Just a little tipsy, but I’m fine.” Jiwoo lied through her teeth.

Jungeun nodded in response and they made their way over to the couch Jungeun has been making her home. The blanket she had used with Sooyoung was still there. Jungeun this time took the seat away from the corner, knowing Jiwoo felt “safer” being next to the armrest. She didn’t get it, but Jiwoo mentioned something like how she felt better when she had something to rest on rather than having empty space next to her. Jungeun didn’t question it and always gave up her favorite spot for Jiwoo.

They sat there facing each other in silence, not making eye contact before Jiwoo spoke up from how thick with awkwardness the air felt. “Merry Christmas,” she finally said hesitantly.

“It’s past midnight.” Jungeun mumbled.

“I’m sorry.” Jiwoo lifted her head to try to get Jungeun to look at her, but the girl seemed more interested in fiddling with her fingers. A nervous habit she noticed quickly into their friendship. “You didn’t call or text me.” Jiwoo stated.

Jungeun finally looked up. “I— You were out. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Since when have you ever been a bother to me?” By now, her head was pounding. “You didn’t even message to see when I’d be home.” 

“I’m sorry.” Jungeun was the one apologizing this time. She had wanted to text Jiwoo so many times that night, but she had hoped the other girl would message or call her first. In the end, she decided not to when Sooyoung told her she got a reply back that Jiwoo would be home soon.

“Are you okay?” Jiwoo reached out for Jungeun’s hands to stop her from fidgeting. “Are we okay?” When all she got in response was Jungeun lowering her head to drop their gaze, she spoke again, “I know we haven’t talked lately, but you know that you’re my best friend right?”

There it was. 

That word. 

Best friend. 

Jungeun tried taking her hands back, but Jiwoo only gripped tighter. “How was Christmas with Yoojung?” She asked avoiding the question.

Jiwoo sighed. “It was fun. She’s nice to hang around. But I missed you and now I have a headache.”

“Did you drink water?” Jungeun’s eyes quickly found Jiwoo’s again. It was cute to see her so worried. Jungeun was always cute, but Jiwoo’s always been too much of a coward to say it out loud. 

“I’m fine,” she replied, brushing it off. “What did you do today?”

“Nothing much. Watched some tv with Sooyoung unnie and lazed around.”

Jiwoo didn’t know if it was jealousy or not knowing that Jungeun confined in Sooyoung more than her these days, but it made the uneasy feeling in her stomach come back. She never felt so far away from Jungeun although they were so close that their knees were practically touching. 

She just felt so alone.

Abandoned.

It must have been all the alcohol she consumed because before she knew it, tears were streaming down her face. She didn’t even bother wiping them as they fell down freely. Everything just felt too overwhelming at the moment.

Jungeun’s eyes widen in shock and instinctively reached out to wipe Jiwoo’s tears away with her sweater paws. “Hey, what’s wrong?” She sounded so concerned that it made Jiwoo cry more.

“I’m sorry. God, I’m such a mess.” Jiwoo’s hands came to her face to take a hold of Jungeun’s and pulled it away embarrassingly. Her touch felt like fire on her skin.

Jungeun, only now realizing how close they were, pulled away completely, and decided on placing a comforting hand on Jiwoo’s thigh instead.

“Sorry,” Jiwoo said again sniffing. “I think I had a little more alcohol than I could handle.” 

“Doesn’t explain why you’re crying though.” Jungeun was caught off guard by the sudden tears, and silently cursed herself for not noticing something was wrong earlier. Jiwoo only cried when she let things bottle up until she was too exhausted to hold it in any longer. She would have known that if she wasn’t actively trying to avoid the girl with messy bangs that was in front of her.

“I just—“ Jiwoo contemplated on the right words as she let her breathing even out a bit before continuing, “I just miss you is all.” She decided to simply say.

Jungeun closed her eyes shut to prevent her own tears from spilling. All she wanted to do was apologize for being such a bad friend. Jungeun knew they haven’t been okay for awhile, but she didn’t know Jiwoo was this stressed. She had been hanging out with Sooyoung more since the older one knew of her problem and Jiwoo has just been… Jiwoo. Only showing her weakness in her journal that she kept by her side all the time. 

“I miss you too.” She wanted to say more, but everything she wanted to say was all bombarding her mind at once, making it difficult to find the right words.

“Are we drifting apart, Jungeun?” Jiwoo sounded so desperate to know the answer that it made Jungeun’s heart ache knowing that she was the cause of her pain.

“What? No. We’ve been best friends since forever and it’s going to stay like that.” Jungeun attempted to reassure her although she knew, deep down, somewhere along the line, their relationship changed and she didn’t know how to fix it.

“Are you sure? Because it seems like you’ve been avoiding me lately and I just… I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.” Jiwoo was now hiccuping between her small sniffles, hands wiping at her face. Her almost too perfect makeup now smeared. 

Jungeun’s own tears were now freely falling as she pulled Jiwoo into a hug. Her body shook once she was in Jungeun’s embrace, not having the energy to hold back her sobs any longer. 

“I’m so sorry I made you feel like this.” Jungeun said between her own cries. “I promise you did nothing wrong. I’ve just been going through some stuff lately.” 

Jiwoo was a hiccuping mess and Jungeun tried her best to calm her down by running her hand through the slightly taller girl’s hair. It didn’t help. Jiwoo felt like she couldn’t breathe with how close they were. 

She felt terrible for crying like this. It hurt to know that Jungeun didn’t come to her with her problems anymore, but she’d be a hypocrite if she said she wasn’t doing the same thing. 

Jungeun was still muttering words of comfort as Jiwoo tried her best to stop crying, but the alcohol in her system was making it harder to control her emotions. 

It took several more minutes for Jiwoo’s hiccuping to stop and her sobs died down to a slow pattern of sniffling. It wasn’t until Jungeun pulled away a little and looked down to find that Jiwoo had cried herself to sleep in her embrace.

She sighed and carefully moved Jiwoo down so that she could place her head on the pillow Jungeun had used earlier to try to strangle Sooyoung with. 

She stared down at the tear streaked face before getting up to go to the bathroom. Jungeun comes out not a minute later, sat back down on the couch, and carefully began removing Jiwoo’s makeup with supplies she had brought back.

Jungeun didn’t have the strength or motivation to go back to her room. She didn’t want to leave Jiwoo out here all alone either, so after she was done cleaning Jiwoo up the best she could, Jungeun climbed under the blanket and laid besides Jiwoo on the couch. 

No matter how much it pained her being this close, she couldn’t stand hurting Jiwoo more than she already has and had to try to normalize things again. But was it even possible for things to go back the way they were? Did she want things to go back the way they were?

The sleeping girl next to her still smelled like a mix of her perfume and alcohol. It made her wonder what Jiwoo and Yoojung talked about for so long, drinking late into the night. She would be lying to say she wasn’t jealous. Aside from Jiwoo, Yoojung was as cute as a person could get. 

It made the talk with Sooyoung from earlier sink in more. 

She was so afraid of ruining her friendship with Jiwoo, that she couldn’t see that their relationship was already on the verge of crumbling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you really think it was going to stay fluffy?


	3. New day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next morning.

Sooyoung woke up on her own for once and not by Jungeun knocking on the door 10 minutes before it was time to leave. She stretched in bed, glanced to the other side of the room, and found the other lower bunk empty. She frowned, knowing Jiwoo would never leave her bed willingly without someone coaxing her out. 

Was she with Jungeun? Those two better have made up and cuddling somewhere, because she was getting tired trying to play matchmaker for two oblivious people. 

Sooyoung laid there, staring up at the top bunk and contemplated on kicking the person above her, but refrained from it. She was better than this. It was too early to annoy her members no matter how much she enjoyed it. 

She groaned knowing she couldn’t ignore the fact that Jiwoo wasn’t in bed and not hearing about what happened from Jungeun worried her. 

Sooyoung threw off her blanket, swung her legs off of the bed, and lazily slithering her body down till she was sitting on the floor. 

Those two are going to be the death of her. As if Chaewon didn’t take every opportunity to roast her already, she had to deal with this headache too. 

Sooyoung sighed before slowly getting up and stretching again. She picked up the hoodie that was hanging on the steps of the bunk bed ladder and threw it over her head before heading out of the room. 

She dragged her feet as she walked tiredly to the living room, but stopped abruptly when she saw the sight before her. Jungeun and Jiwoo were tangled up together under a thin blanket on the couch. The corner of Sooyoung’s mouth formed a tiny smirk and she silently cursed herself for not bringing her phone out to snap a picture of this historical moment.

Deciding to be a good friend and leave them alone instead, she turned around and was about to head back to her room when a soft raspy voice called out for her.

“Unnie?” Sooyoung turned back to see Jungeun looking at her with half lidded eyes. 

“Go back to sleep,” she tried shushing the girl, but Jungeun seemed more awake now that she finally realized the position she was in.

Jungeun’s ears turned bright red and she tried hiding it by shaking her head to have her hair cover them, but it was already too obvious.

Sooyoung smirked again, but didn’t say anything. She watched as Jungeun carefully tried prying off Jiwoo’s arm that was currently wrapped securely around her waist. She held her breath when Jiwoo moved, snuggling closer, and Jungeun couldn’t tell if the color of her face matched her ears yet.

Jungeun panicked, looking over at Sooyoung, and mouthed “help”.

Sooyoung stood there a little longer, arms crossed, while Jungeun glared at her for not moving. She wanted to soak in this sight for a few more seconds before deciding to go save the poor girl.

She walked over to the couch and kneeled down. Before she could say anything, Jungeun beat her to it. “Not a word.” As if Jungeun knew she was going to make a little spoon, big spoon joke.

Sooyoung kept the eye contact, trying to read Jungeun. The pleading look in her eyes made Sooyoung switch gears from amused to concerned. She reached over, carefully lifting Jiwoo’s arm up so that Jungeun could slide off the couch.

The smaller brunette sat on the ground, eyes glossy. She wasn’t ready for today.

Sooyoung got up on her feet and held out a hand to Jungeun, who stared at it for a bit before taking it. They intertwined their fingers as the taller of the two lead them outside to the small balcony. 

It was hard finding alone time in a house of 12, so members often took advantage of the tiny space whenever they could. 

Funny how the two seemingly happy go lucky members were the ones often spotted out there. Jiwoo was always out writing in her journal when the room got too loud and Yerim just sat alone, staring off into nothing. It worried her to see those two so talkative, but the talks were never anything more than happy words hidden behind troubled eyes. She hated when they flashed their fake smiles. It was so obvious no matter how bright they tried to be. She wished they would just talk to any one of the members instead of bottling it up.

When did things get like this?

“So…” Sooyoung started off as they took a seat on the old lawn chairs. “What happened?”

Jungeun had her knees up to her chest again, arms wrapped around her legs, with her chin resting on top. “Nothing happened.”

“You guys slept together on the couch. That’s something compared to how you’ve been around each other lately.”

Jungeun let out a frustrated groan. “No, nothing happened. She had a little too much to drink and I couldn’t find it in myself to own up to anything when she thought she was the one to blame for this mess.” 

Jungeun buried her face in her arms. “And when I decided to stop being a coward and wait for her to calm down first, the exhaustion from crying got the best of her and she fell asleep.” She lifted up her head and muttered, “why am I such a useless gay?”

Sooyoung clicked her teeth. “Yeah, you are a useless gay.” 

Jungeun went from sad to annoyed real fast. “You really suck at this. And you’re one to talk. If I recall correctly, I remember you gay panicking every time you were in the same room as Haseul unnie.” She paused before sneering, “awkwardness radiated from you.”

Sooyoung looked unphased. “Yeah, so what? Have you seen that woman? I’m allowed to gay panic okay?” She leaned back in her chair with her arms behind her head and closed her eyes. “There’s no shame in that.”

Jungeun scoffed. “Are you going to do anything about it?”

Sooyoung peeked an eye open and glanced at the other girl. “Don’t try to change the topic. We’re trying to figure out your unnecessarily complicated situation.”

Jungeun stayed quiet for a little and then spoke up softly, “you know you don’t have to hide behind jokes all the time right? You can talk to me too.” 

Sooyoung dropped her arms and sighed. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Jungeun shook her head disappointed, but was already expecting a reply along those lines.

There was no one more stubborn than Ha Sooyoung.

“Are you really the same person Jiwoo gushed about when she told me some hot woman asked for her number at the academy? Where’d all the confidence go?”

The older brunette let out a small laugh. “Yes, yes, that was me, same person. And just to let you know, I waited last minute and then panicked when she got up to leave, so I had to chase her at the elevator for her number okay?” Sooyoung smiled recalling how nervous she was, but then smirked. “She thought I was hot?”

Ha Sooyoung was as shameless as she was stubborn.

Jungeun rolled her eyes. “She thinks everyone’s hot. She was so excited to find out she was going to be in the same group as her eye candy.”

“Do I sense jealousy?”

Jungeun regretted feeding the shameless girl’s ego, so she retorted back. “You wish. You’re not even her type.”

“What? I’m everyone’s type,” Sooyoung said in disbelief. “What’s her type then? Stu…” 

“Be quiet. Please.” Jungeun interrupted, rubbing her temple.

“Stupid kicked puppy.” Sooyoung mumbled under her breath, but quickly threw her hands up in defense when she saw a death glare from the corner of her eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not plan anything while starting this fic, so idk wtf I’m doing.


	4. Feel something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time skip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end? I think? I haven’t planned on continuing, but idk.

They didn’t talk about what happened that night on the couch. They could blame it on busy schedules, but it was more like walking on eggshells around each other and playing games of stolen glances.

“You’ve been out drinking,” Jungeun voice came from the couch. She didn’t need to smell the alcohol off the younger girl to know.

Jiwoo stopped in her tracks before proceeding on. “Yeah, I have.” She knew whose voice it belonged to without needing her eyes to adjust to the dark.

For the past few weeks, when their schedule would end a little early, she’d go out when she thought the members were asleep. Jiwoo needed to get away, even if it was for a little while. She needed to feel something else other than the constant busy life of work and practice.

“Did you even tell anyone?”

“I told Sooyoung unnie.”

“And she was okay with it?”

“I’m an adult.” Jiwoo stood there, jaw clenched. She was afraid of snapping if she didn’t. 

“You're also coming home at 2 A.M. every other night when we gotta be up in a few hours.” 

She began heading to her room. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Don’t walk away from me.” Jungeun got up from the couch.

Jiwoo stopped walking to turn around again. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, Jungeun. You don’t have the right to be worried about me when we don’t even talk anymore.” 

That shut her up real quick and she sat back down on the couch, head in her hands. They have had little fights here and there in the past, but lately, it seemed like that was all they could do. “I’m trying. I really am.” Was she really though? Or was she just trying to mend something that wasn’t there anymore?

Jiwoo should have kept her mouth shut. “I know.” She sighed and went to go sit next to the now sniffling girl.

“What happened to your hand?” Jungeun asked reaching for the other, only now seeing the dried blood that was on her knuckles.

“Nothing. Broken glass.” Jiwoo pulled away quickly, cursing herself for not being more careful.

“Did you get into a fight or something?” Jungeun tried to hold her hand again.

“I just told you it’s nothing,” she raised her voice. Everything has been irritating her lately. She was on edge with everyone and she felt like everything she used to be was slipping away.

“And I obviously don’t believe you,” Jungeun snapped back. She wanted them to stop fighting, but with their broken communication, it was hard not to feel disconnected from one another.

Jiwoo really did not want to talk right now. She felt sick to her stomach from late night drinking and unwanted emotions bubbling up. “What are we doing, Jungeun?” 

Jungeun frowned, voice softened, “we’re… we’re figuring things out.”

“Figuring out what exactly?” When she didn’t get a reply, she sighed in defeat and stood up. “I’m going to go to bed. I’m tired. We can talk tomorrow or something.”

“Let me at least clean your hand.” Jungeun went for Jiwoo’s arm, but it was pulled away just as fast. 

“I got it.”

“Please,” Jungeun pleased. 

Jiwoo hesitated before agreeing. “Fine.” 

They walked to the bathroom silently. Jiwoo sat down on the closed toilet seat, while Jungeun sat on the edge of the bathtub after she got the first aid kit out from under the sink.

Jiwoo hissed in pain as Jungeun tried cleaning off the dried blood. Jungeun mumbled a sorry and Jiwoo watched as her brows knit together in worry. She wanted nothing more than to reach out to tell her to stop before she got wrinkles, but she stayed still. The thought of her having to hesitate on such a simple gesture made her heart hurt more than it already did.

“Have you been going out with Yoojung?” Jungeun looked up and caught her stare.

“Yeah, I have. So what?” Jiwoo regretted her choice of words when she saw Jungeun lower her gaze and slump her shoulders. “I’m not replacing you, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I don’t know what I’m asking. I just want us to be okay, but I feel like I keep fucking up every time I try.” Jungeun carefully wrapped Jiwoo’s knuckles in bandages and ran her thumb across the back of her hand out of old habits.

“Can we not talk about this right now?” Her head was pounding and all she wanted to do was lay in bed.

“Please, Jiwoo,” Jungeun didn’t know what to do, but to plead. “You said we don’t talk anymore, so I’m trying here. I know it’s shitty timing, but when else are we going to have the time to be alone like this?” The redhead didn’t reply. “I’m sorry and I know you said I have no right to worry about you, but this… this isn’t you and it scares me.”

“Who am I then, if you know me so well.” Jiwoo gritted through angry eyes.

Jungeun blinked back tears. All of the years she has known the other girl, Jiwoo has never looked so broken and it pained her to know that she played a part in it. “I’m just scared.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “I’m scared that you’re hurting yourself and I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Jiwoo took back her now bandaged hand from the brunette and shook her head lightly. “How did we get like this? I’m so damn tired.” 

“I—,” Jungeun tried explaining, but failed once again.

“Why are we keeping secrets from each other?” When she didn’t get an answer, Jiwoo bit her lower lip, and decided to go first. “I may or may not have punched a mirror.”

“What?” Jungeun voice raised louder in surprise. She was not expecting an explanation and was definitely not expecting that to be the reason why her hand was injured. “Why?”

“Because… because I hate seeing myself,” Jiwoo tried to say without breaking down. People only saw a cute girl that was all smiles, but these days, it was getting harder for her to pretend that she was okay. “And I hate that you won’t look at me anymore.”

“Jiwoo…” Jungeun wanted to reassure her and to comfort her, but Jiwoo didn’t let her get farther than saying her name.

“Your turn.” Jiwoo interrupted.

“What?” She asked confused.

“A secret. I just told you one. If you want to talk, we’re talking, but first, no more secrets.”

Jungeun gulped and closed her eyes as tears threatened to fall again. She opened them back up when she felt a hand placed lightly on her cheek. The small distance between them made her forget how to breathe.

“Why are you so scared, Jungeun? It’s just me.” That was just it. She couldn’t pinpoint an exact moment, but somehow, Jungeun started seeing Jiwoo more than a best friend and all she wanted to do was suppress her feelings. 

“When I came home from Christmas that night…” Jiwoo’s voice trembled, but she went on, “there was a moment when I thought I was going to kiss you.” Her thumb creased Jungeun’s wet cheek, trying to brush away the tears. Their foreheads were almost touching. “We were so close, but you pulled away.”

Jiwoo then hesitated for a moment, but decided to close the gap. Her friendship with Jungeun was already almost nonexistent. If she was going to lose her best friend over this, she might as well come clean, because there was no saving it with how things were currently going.

The kiss was cut rather short when Jiwoo didn’t feel any movement from the other end. She pulled away and stood up abruptly while walking towards the door. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I thought…”

Jungeun reached out and took a hold of her hand before Jiwoo could try to escape the bathroom. She stood there, afraid of what Jungeun was going to say. But instead of words, she felt arms wrap around her waist from behind as Jungeun rested her forehead on Jiwoo’s shoulder. She froze up, but relaxed in the embrace when she realized that no matter what happened next, they were going to be okay. 

Jungeun didn’t hate her.

“I’m sorry, Jiwoo.” Jungeun’s voice was muffled against her. 

“It’s okay.” Jiwoo pulled away from the embrace and turned around. “I get why you would want to avoid me. Kind of awkward right?” Jiwoo tried to laugh it off, but failed when a sob escaped instead. She quickly wiped away the tears and bit her lip to stop herself from crying more.

Jungeun looked at her confused and decided to clarify things by leaning in to catch Jiwoo’s lips with her own. It was messy and their teeth clashed, but they both didn’t care. Jiwoo pulled away first, wanting a verbal confirmation of what just happened, but Jungeun was looking at the floor.

Jiwoo grabbed onto Jungeun’s hand and dragged her out of the bathroom and into the living room. They were on the couch again, close enough that their knees were touching. It was as if they were back to that night, a little after Christmas, to have the conversation they should have had, but avoided.

“You kissed me,” Jiwoo stated the obvious.

“You kissed me first,” Jungeun replied.

“This was why you’ve been avoiding me,” she stated again.

Jungeun slowly nodded. 

Jiwoo took Jungeun’s hands in her own. “Stop being so scared.” She searched the brunette’s eyes to try to hold eye contact and for her stop being so fidgety. “It’s just us. We’re still the same stupid kids we were in high school, but just hotter now and with more piercings.”

That got a little laugh out of Jungeun. “You’re just cute,” came the reply before she could help herself. She felt her ears burn.

Jiwoo smiled for the first time that night before proceeding to smack Jungeun in the arm.

“Ow! What was that for and why does everyone keep hitting me?” Jungeun exclaimed, rubbing her arm.

“Because you’re an idiot. And who’s hitting you? I’ll fight them.” Jiwoo tried to look threatening, but failed. 

“Sooyoung unnie.”

“Sooyoung unnie.” Jiwoo repeated, not surprised.

“She kind of found out about this whole situation, so she’s been trying to knock some sense into me, but I guess I’m more of a coward than I thought.”

Jiwoo sighed. “The next time we have a problem. Just talk to me okay? I would never judge you, no matter what it was. It hurts when you avoid me.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Let’s not end the night by apologizing to each other.” Jiwoo began moving around before kicking Jungeun to move. “Can we just sleep? I have a headache.”

“I could get you water.” Jungeun tried getting up from the couch, but was grabbed back down.

“Just lay down.” 

Jungeun blushed and did what she was told. Her hands felt clammy as she laid next to her longtime crush. And out of awkwardness, she tried to figure out where to put her arms.

“What are you doing?” Jiwoo asked puzzled as Jungeun tried to get comfortable next to her.

“Cuddling?” Jungeun looked genuinely confused that her eyes made her look like a lost puppy.

Jiwoo let out a small laugh. “Turn around.”

Jungeun’s heart rate picked up as she complied. Jiwoo’s arm went around her, resting on her stomach before she pulled her in closer. Jungeun was glad it was dark and they weren’t facing each other, because she was sure her face was as red as her ears.

“Jiwoo?” 

The girl behind her hummed in response.

“So this means you like me too right?” 

“Was I not obvious?” Jiwoo kissed the back of slightly smaller girl’s head. “You’re so dense, Jungeun. Just go to sleep. We’ll talk more tomorrow when I hopefully don’t wake up from a hangover.”

“We gotta talk about you slowing down on those drinks,” Jungeun mumbled.

Jiwoo sighed. “Another day.” 

It was silent for a bit and all they could hear was each other’s breathing. They’ve shared the same couch many times before. Staying up late talking to each other on nights Jungeun broke her own curfew, while everyone else was asleep. But it just felt different now that their feelings were out in the open, vulnerable to each other.

“Jiwoo?”

“Hmm?”

“I know I’ve been a coward, but…” Jungeun’s voice trailed. “I love you, Jiwooming. But you don’t have to say it back or anything because this all happened so fast, but I just wanted you to know that I do love you, as my best friend and more, but yeah.” 

Jiwoo smiled and waited for the rambling to stop. “I love you too, as my best friend and more. Now would you stop being so fidgety and go to sleep?”

Jungeun nodded, smiling, but wasn’t sure if she could fall asleep. Too many emotions and thoughts were running through her mind. It was too surreal. She was actually the little spoon to Jiwoo’s big spoon. Sooyoung was never gonna let her live this down if she catches them in this position again. She smiled to herself and decided that she didn’t care. 

She was so stupid to think anything could break their relationship. She couldn’t turn back time. All she could do now was to move forward and to love without fear. 

They had so much they needed to talk about and work out, but she now knew that they were going to be okay. They’ll get through this. She’ll help Jiwoo through her problems of self destruction and Jiwoo will help her to stop feeling so damn insecure. 

As long as they have each other, they were going to be okay no matter how broken they both were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the kiss scenes seem choppy. That romantic crap makes me cringe, but this is me trying to write something out of my comfort zone.


	5. Blush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk. the characters talk about things and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, but no one should ever believe me when i say a fic is completed. i guess it’ll end when i stop thinking about it.

Jungeun woke up groggy, forgetting she wasn’t in her own bed when she finally registered the feeling of an arm wrapped lazily around her waist. Memories from last night flashed through her mind and she couldn’t help but smile. The warmth of the embrace made her want to stay like this forever, but the need to pee was urgent. 

Jungeun was about to lift Jiwoo’s arm off when a voice catches her by surprise. “This scene looks awfully familiar.” Sooyoung stood there, arms crossed, smirking.

Jungeun froze what she was doing and looked up. “Why is it you again?” 

“What? You want someone else to catch you two out here?” The older girl pretended to look hurt. “On the couch, cuddling, looking all domestic.”

“Could you just shut up and help me?”

“Tell me to shut up and ask for my help?” Sooyoung grumbled to herself, but walked over to the couch anyways. “You owe me,” she said kneeling down, to once again, help the poor girl out of her current position.

“I’m your favorite person to tease. I owe you nothing.” 

Sooyoung smiled agreeing and helped Jungeun out from under Jiwoo’s arm. “You’re lucky she’s hard to wake up.” Pointing at the girl who hasn’t even moved an inch with all of the talking and movement.

“Or it’s all the drinks she drank last night.” Sooyoung winced when Jungeun made eye contact with her, knowing the shorter brunette probably knew that she had knowledge of Jiwoo’s late night whereabouts.

“I need to use the bathroom.”

“Wait.” Sooyoung reached and grabbed onto Jungeun’s arm. “Are you… are you guys okay?”

Jungeun smiled softly. “Yeah, yeah, I think we’re going to be okay.”

Sooyoung’s shoulders relaxed, not realizing she had tensed them. “I’m going to hug you and you’re going to like it.” She grinned before pulling the shorter girl into a tight embrace.

Jungeun let out a small squeal from surprise, but returned the gesture. The hug went on longer than necessary. “You can let me go now.”

“Just let me love you for a few more seconds.” Jungeun didn’t argue and let Sooyoung hold her a little more before letting go.

Sooyoung gave her one last pat on the head and watched her disappear off. 

She was thankful that the younger girl knew that no matter how much they bickered, they would always have each other’s back. Jungeun trusted her enough to talk to her instead of bottling up, and she wished she could learn to do the same, but throwing jokes around was her defense mechanism. Everyone knew it. She just didn’t know how to break the habit.

By the time Jungeun came back to the living room, it was empty. She scratched her head confused, but started heading to the kitchen when she heard voices. 

Jiwoo had her back to her, busy trying to reach for bowls that was too high up in the cabinet while Sooyoung sat at the kitchen island, watching, but being no help.

“You’re really a jerk, you know that?” Jungeun said walking past Sooyoung, who just shrugged and went back to biting her string cheese like a monster instead of pulling it apart.

“Jiwoo, could you please not climb the counter? It’s dangerous.” Jungeun tugged at the bottom of the redhead’s shirt, who was already halfway up. 

They both heard a chair move and turned to see Sooyoung walking towards them, easily grabbed three bowls, set them down, and walked back to her seat.

“Thanks, Unnie.” Jiwoo smiled brightly and Jungeun wondered how she was always so patient with Sooyoung.

Jiwoo poured milk in each bowl and placed it in front of the now seated girls before taking a seat herself.

“So… you guys looked cute on the couch,” Sooyoung commented casually while pouring cereal into her bowl.

Jungeun groaned and placed her face in her hands.

“Yeah, I know we’re cute. Jealous?” Jiwoo countered back playfully.

“Of you or her? ‘Cause you get clingy and Jungeun moves too much, so I would have to say that I’m not jealous of either of you.” Sooyoung then tapped her fingers. “Though, I guess I will miss my little spoons.”

“It’s okay, Unnie. We can still cuddle with you.” Jiwoo smiled as Sooyoung reached across to tickle under the redhead’s chin.

“Speak for yourself, Jiwoo,” Jungeun said, shoving another spoonful of sugary breakfast in her mouth.

“Why don’t you love me?!” Sooyoung raised her voice and threw a dropped cereal at the girl.

Jungeun glared and threw it back.

“Okay, but, in all seriousness, you guys aren’t going to avoid each other anymore right?” Sooyoung asked, knowing Jungeun would just beat around the bush about the situation and Jiwoo has been keeping to herself these days.

Her and Jiwoo talked a bit while Jungeun was in the bathroom, but it wasn’t much. She hated losing sleep over her friends and needed to hear it from the both of them while they were in the same room.

Jiwoo and Jungeun looked at each other before the younger of the two spoke up. “We still have a lot to talk about, but we’re actually talking, so that’s a start right?”

Jungeun nodded.

“That’s good, that’s real good.” Sooyoung nodded along as well. “I’m glad.”

Jiwoo and Jungeun waited for her to continue. 

“But if you ever miss being the little spoon, Jiwoo, my bed is always open.” And there was the joke.

“I can just ask Jinsol unnie,” Jiwoo teased.

“Jinsol?? Oh come on, my cuddles are way better right?” Sooyoung tried to get an answer out of Jiwoo but only got a smile back in response.

“Good morning.” The girls looked up in surprise to see a sleepy Haseul in glasses standing by the kitchen entrance. She mumbled something else before heading towards the fridge to pull out orange juice. “You guys are eating without a drink? You need some vitamins.” Haseul didn’t wait for a reply and got cups out to pour each member a glass.

She gave one to each and set the last down in front of Sooyoung before placing a hand on the small of the taller girl’s back, taking a seat next to her. Sooyoung froze, but Haseul didn’t seem to notice. “Why are you all up so early?”

Jungeun tried to stifle back a laugh at the growing blush on Sooyoung’s face. The other girl glared at her, but Jungeun only grinned teasingly.

“Oh, you know, thought it’d be nice to eat breakfast at home for once instead of having our first meal in the car,” Jiwoo replied naturally, but it was hard to fool Haseul.

Haseul hummed in response and all the girls knew the leader knew something else was up, but she didn’t pry any further.

“I’ll get you a bowl.” Sooyoung cleared her throat and got up abruptly, but the hand on her back went around her waist to stop her.

“It’s okay. I’m going to wake everyone else up first.” Haseul hopped off the chair and headed out of the kitchen.

Jiwoo looked between Sooyoung and Jungeun, who were still giving each other looks. “Okay, something is definitely going on here.”

“It’s nothing.” They both looked up and said at the same time.

“Uh huh.” Jiwoo narrowed her eyes, but didn’t say anything more.

“Fine. I’ll say it. Jo Haseul is drop dead gorgeous and I might have a tiny crush on her,” Sooyoung blurted out and puffed her chest.

“I didn’t even ask,” Jiwoo responded nonchalantly, taking a sip of her juice.

Jungeun snorted. “Tiny crush? The moment you guys met, everyone felt the awkwardness in the room.”

“Shut up, tiny Moomin,” Sooyoung growled out.

“Is that supposed to be an insult? Moomin’s cute.”

“You’re right. Moomin is cute.” Sooyoung gave out a little chuckle and winked. “But you’re cuter.”

Jiwoo laughed out loud and nodded in agreement while Jungeun silently cursed herself for being caught off guard by the comment as she felt her ears burn.

There was no winning against Ha Sooyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, jiwoo climbing the counter is a little nod to “less like me” chap 2. when is the next chap coming out for that fic? idk

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading~ @loonachoz on the bird app


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